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I remember the day…

…I found out I had a TEMPER!

[clickandtweet handle=”” hashtag=”” related=”” layout=”” position=””]Not until I had children did I realize my limitations were grossly underestimated, and my opinion of myself was highly overrated.[/clickandtweet]

limitations-JPG-79On one specific occasion, after losing my cool, I threw myself on my knees beside my bed and cried out a very desperate prayer.

“Lord, if I can’t get it together, if I am going to keep losing my temper, then I need you to take me home and give my children another mom.”

 

 

I waited. Nothing happened. Several years passed and still nothing happened or so I thought. I guess I expected to be gone in a puff of smoke right then and there, and for God to replace me with ‘I Dream of Jeannie’.

He did replace me, everyday, I just couldn’t see it. By his love and grace, and patience I am no longer the same person I once was. The process has been slow, which reminds me of the other thing I’ve discovered – my absence of patience.

I am less of an emotional roller coaster today, probably because I get sleep, and my grown up kids let on like I wasn’t half bad.

But just when you think you’re getting a handle on parenting, the clock strikes twelve, and your kids have to parent you, grey hair ‘n all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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One Tired Tuesday Morning….

This morning I got out of bed at a snail’s pace. A thirteen hour drive will do that to you. But it was all worth it. Like Bryan Adam sings “You’d shoot the moon, put out the sun, when you love someone”, and we love our children and grandchildren.

It was all I could do to make sure I was clean, and in fresh clothes before I snuck out to the dollar store, incognito I might add (sunglasses). There I bought stickers for a package I needed to mail to an associate, and more stickers to mail to my grandchild.

As I left the store I was remembering how hard it was to greet each day with a smile when my children were really small. I was thankful for my precious miracles, but exhausted all the time. And you know that phrase, “Choose Joy”? Well it’s easier said than done when you don’t have a second of peace and quiet. [clickandtweet handle=”” hashtag=”” related=”” layout=”” position=””]My slogan was far less noble[/clickandtweet], “choose a chocolate bar behind a locked bathroom door”.

I glanced to my left as I crossed the parking lot and noticed a teacher who taught me in elementary school. Back then I didn’t like her much, but it wasn’t her fault. I was a kid who thought the sun should rise and set on my every whim.

But now, well now is different because as Paul says in 1 Cor. 13:11, “I once thought like a child, reasoned like a child”. Thanks to Christ’s faithfulness, and the work of the Holy Spirit in me, I no longer think or reason the same, and I can hear God’s voice above my own.

needeachother-JPG-81Even though I was tired just thinking about how tired my daughter was, I could feel God nudging me. I stopped short in the parking lot, and turned around and went up to my teacher, and shook her hand with a boisterous “good morning, and how are you?”

Like myself, and like my daughter, who is now a mother too, my teacher is a mom as well, and bottom line – a valued person. The seasons have changed, but our maladies are much the same. Her fatigue is different, but is still fatigue. Maybe her sanity is challenged with the quiet, rather than the noise. Maybe she finds it hard to choose joy when nobody really needs her anymore, or so it seems.

And we do need each other. As I hopped in my vehicle I whispered a prayer, “Lord Jesus, send someone to greet my kids with compassion today, where ever they may be”.